THE GUARDIAN SOLUTION

Let’s go right to the big one, shall we? We’ll go straight to men and women training together in Guardian Jujitsu. Imagine a young lady in a full martial arts uniform laying down on her back, with a gentleman on top of her. They are training together as fellow students learning grappling skills. They learn a system of rules and standards.

Many untrained women of any age are not comfortable interacting closely with a man. Without training, she often feels her body is merely an object – at least to men. She might get the idea that any interaction between male and female bodies is innately sexual. Ultimately, they do not see how they can have solid friendships, professional relationships or close connections with men.

In the Guardian Arts, she learns that she can be strong. She learns to be relaxed and comfortable with a man, even up close. Many women get nervous, some even panic, just at the idea of being that close to a man. Not in the Guardian Arts! She learns to be herself, and she learns that she has value as a person. She is a student – just like him. She is a martial artist – just like him. They treat each other with that level of honor.

Many untrained young men see female bodies as mere objects. More see any meaningful interaction with a female body as all about sex. Many of them do not value the woman herself. Women are “things” to look at and objects of desire. She learns to trust. She can trust because she trains with men she can trust. She can trust herself, too, because she no longer fears.

In the Guardian Arts, especially in Guardian Jujitsu, young men (all men!) learn to touch a women with respect. If he learns to value the dignity of a women even grappling, how will be treat women throughout his life? If he learns that a woman’s body is about the woman, not just the body, how will that affect every relationship he will ever have?

Balancing the total equality among Guardians is that we train to be Ladies and Gentlemen. Our ideal of the Samurai Prince is one of a royal, gentlemanly, highly honorable warrior. A Samurai Princess is a royal, ladylike, highly honorable and deeply cherished warrior.

FOR PROFESSIONALS

A century ago, women in the workplace was a rare thing, and there was “women’s work” and “men’s work.” Those days are long gone, and they are not likely to return. Men and women work side by side – and that has lead to a whole different problem. How do you put men and women so close together without harassment?

Respect. Honor. Being used to being closer than business will take you and conducting yourself with dignity.

For a woman, she can stand up for herself and accept the advances of a male as an adult woman. Even an aggressive male is no threat to her, and she is comfortable in close contact, so she is relaxed and comfortable. She can be polite, even ladylike, and suggest to the advancing male that his conduct is not appreciated. She is prepared to be as firm as he makes necessary. She does not need to hide behind boyfriends, husbands, or even bosses. She stands on her own two feet and deals with the male one on one. Problem solved. Workplace policies are a final weapon held in reserve.

For a man, he is not so distracted or captivated by feminine beauty. He is accustomed to the near presence of women in a professional training environment. He knows how to conduct himself honorably and value women as human beings. When he builds connection with women, he does so as a fellow professional, as a human being to a human being. It’s about dignifying the relationship. He learns to think about interacting with women as peers.

This virtually eliminates all sexual harassment in the workplace. This allows a woman to advance because she gains a reputation for polite strength. For a man, he becomes more effective on a team because he can draw out the best in every member of his team – male or female – and he is a gentleman and a professional.

Some groups have a different solution – keep men and women apart. In particular, they tell men that they need to beware of taking any position that a good chance of leaving them alone with a woman – ever. Some men will not so much as allow a women to pick him from the airport when he flies into a city to do business! The only valid business reason for this should be to avoid false charges.

A man who is trained as a Guardian does not need to hide from contact with the women at the office to assure proper conduct – gender, to him, is irrelevant to his job. He is a professional, and if he is a professional working with professionals, he really need not concern himself with gender!

FOR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

This is huge. We will not get into detail in a business document, but you can think this through. How many males learn to see a woman’s body as an object? How many learn to be “players” to get access to women’s bodies? How many use the internet to get access to more viewing of these objects? What does that do to how women are valued as human beings?

Would it make a difference if men learn to touch a women with respect? Of course it would. What is a young man could even grappling with a woman and respect her as a training peer? Imagine how much control there is in a class setting, with a socially acceptable and very public contact, so he gets used to being in contact with a woman. Just imagine the controls on his reaction. Then imagine his habit of dealing with female training partners goes to his dating life. How will it affect the way he treats women for the rest of his life?

THE ULTIMATE PERSONAL RULE: “STOP MEANS STOP.”

JUJITSU TAP OUT. One of the most important things for men and women to know with one another is the simple rule: Stop means Stop.

“Tap Out” in Jujitsu means when something is at the edge between uncomfortable and painful, you can end it. All you need to do is tap on the person’s body at least twice. Or you can tap on the mat or on your own body loud enough for the person to hear. Your partner stops the instant he or she feels or hears the tap.

In Jujitsu, you are not permitted to use the “tap out” as a tactic. You are not permitted to tap out to get someone to let go just so you can attack. If you tap out, the match is over.

Consider this in life.

First, when you want something to stop, you need to express it.

Second, you do not say “stop” unless you mean “stop.”

Third, if someone says “stop,” you stop.

Imagine this rule with a young lady with a young gentleman. She knows that if she wants something to stop, she needs to say stop. He knows that if she says stop, it means stop.

Imagine this rule with a married couple. When a hard topic is getting painful, when it’s turning into a fight, they can “tap out.” They come back when they can start fresh and try to discuss the issue without anyone getting hurt. They learn to listen the way they listen in class. They learn to respect the way they respect in class.

That is the power of the Guardian Martial Arts taken to heart. If you DO this… if you BECOME a Guardian… these are just a handful of incredible qualities life will have.